I have been so impressed with the teachers we've had so far at school. I sang the praises of Kiddo's kindergarten teacher last year, and Kiddo's teacher this year is also pretty much just awesome. I talked with her a couple of days after Kiddo said something, and mentioned to her that he was having trouble finding friends to play with on the playground. She immediately began watching for him on the playground (actually, I think she was already doing some of this even before I said anything to her, as was Kiddo's teacher from last year), and she also spoke to all of the other teachers and staff members who rotate on recess duty so that everyone would be aware of the situation. After checking with me to make sure I didn't mind, she also began assigning a couple of kids each day to play with Kiddo. She has been so supportive and willing to work with us - she is such a blessing!
She was very excited about my offer to come in and talk with the class, so I went in and talked to them yesterday. It went really well [sigh of relief!]. My mom came and took Kiddo out for a doughnut date while I stayed and talked with the kids for about 15 minutes. I talked about how everyone has things that they are good at and things that are hard for them, and I asked the kids to tell me some things that they were good at, as well as things that were hard. I told them that autism made Kiddo's brain work differently, so that he had some different things that were hard and easy. I told them about the things that Kiddo was good at (memory, math, creativity, puzzles...) and then went on to talk about the things that were hard for Kiddo. I tried to focus on just the most important issues, so I settled on three:
1) Kiddo can't understand what other kids are thinking or feeling (because he can't read body language), so it is hard for him to play with other kids or know what he is supposed to do. To help him, kids can invite him to play, tell him the "rules" of whatever they are playing, and use extra words to tell him what they are thinking. Kiddo's teacher added that when out on the playground, Kiddo sometimes "loses" the kids that he is playing with, because he has trouble recognizing them in the crowd, so his playmates may need to come find him if he gets separated from them.
2) When there are a lot of kids, Kiddo can't process all of the conversations going on around him fast enough, nor realize if he is supposed to participate in the conversation. He also can't respond fast enough to kids running by and saying "hi" in the hallway. He's not being rude, he's just being autistic. Kids can help by saying his name first when asking a question, and giving him a few extra seconds to respond, or touching him lightly on the arm to get his attention before saying something to him.
3) Motor skills are a challenge - things like kicking or throwing a ball are tough, as well as navigating the monkey bars and other trickier aspects of the playground. I told the class they could help by playing with Kiddo on other parts of the playground, or waiting for him on the other side of the monkey bars until he can find another way around, or giving him a turn with the ball even though he's not as strong so that he can practice and get better.
They were all very attentive and really seemed to "get it." They seemed to take it in stride, like it was no big deal. One of the moms saw me this afternoon and said her son came home talking all about Kiddo and what I had told them that morning. He even remembered a lot of the major points I was trying to get across! Awesome.
So, thanks again for praying! I'm really pleased with how things are going. No, Kiddo hasn't made any true friends yet, but I am seeing so many little areas of improvement, it is encouraging (remind me of this the next time we have a bad day, okay?). I'm hoping that his classmates will be more tolerant of Kiddo's idiosyncrasies now that they know there is a reason for them and he's not just "weird."
Love him!
4 comments:
Kirsten - I come from a household with a sister who has challenges in some things - her challenges are much different than your sweet guy's... but challenges are challenges. I was heartened to hear of your love for him in the talk, the acceptance and care of the teachers and students in that school, and the response you received. I may find myself having a similar talk with my own children and others about my sister - and I will remember this talk you shared about... and I pray that I will have the discretion, carefulness and tenderness that the Lord allowed for you! Cheers on a great time and praying for friends for your guy - all in God's time, certainly, but hopefully sooner than later!
I'm so glad it went well! I hope the kids remember what you talked about down the road and continue to be patient with your sweet little guy.
Wonderful! I'm so glad it went well!
Sounds like what you did was just perfect. Young kids are smarter than we think sometimes and being trusted to help adults and others in meaningful ways is just what some kids really need. They may need to be reminded after a little while, but some of the children will really blossom with the responsibility.
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